Most people have never heard of a grief strategist. They’ve heard of therapists. Counselors. Support groups. Coaches. But a grief strategist? That’s new.
So let me tell you what it is, how it’s different, and why I do what I do.
It starts on a sofa.
Seven Years on a Counselor’s Sofa
Before my divorce, I spent seven years in therapy. Every week, Same sofa, Same counselor.
By year five, I could write his script. I knew what he was going to say before he said it. I understood the frameworks, the reflections, the therapeutic language. I had learned everything that model had to offer. But I was still sitting on that sofa.
Year seven. I broke down. I asked him to give me the divorce manual because I was about to break someone’s heart asking for it. And for the first time in seven years, he was honest about what I already knew it was going to be.
He was a great counselor. But it took seven years to reach the honesty I needed to move forward. I made a decision that day: I would never withhold truth from someone I’m walking with. I would never keep someone in the shadows when clarity could set them free.
Most of us know in our gut what’s wrong. We just need someone to lead us to it.
What Fire Taught Me
That decision didn’t become a title overnight. It was forged in my own life first.
My son Jeremy walked through his father’s death, a runaway season, and all the trauma that comes with a life torn apart young. I walked it with him.
I didn’t have a manual or a model. What I had was a relationship with the Spirit of Truth that I had been building through my own hard knocks — through uncertainty, through failure, through seasons where nothing made sense.
He didn’t give me a script– instead, he guided me. Just walking me through it. And I learned to trust that guidance when I had no other option.
Jeremy came home changed—free from anger and the lies he once believed. Not because I had all the answers, but because the Spirit led, I followed, and Jeremy did the work.
That experience taught me something no certification could: when you align real strategy with spiritual truth, people don’t just cope. They transform.
The Confirmation
I’ve been walking with people through their darkest seasons for over twenty-six years — through nursing, through ministry, trauma work, through my own life falling apart and being rebuilt.Â
After Jeremy died, I moved to Texas to rest and regroup. During those months, I reconnected with people I’d known years before — including a mom whose teenage son was seventeen, struggling with deep, strongholds, and heavily medicated. I took him on pro bono because I love kids.
He wasn’t just seeing me. He had a counselor and a psychologist. I was the Spiritualist as some may say. I called it the third voice.
My experience with practical healing, raising boys, and walking my own son through his darkest season compelled me. I knew this territory very well.
As he began to follow the plan, he started breaking free. The home calmed down. The chaos settled. He got on his feet, came off medication, and began pursuing a clean, healthy life. Today I am still part of his defined ‘family.’ Â
But here’s what struck me: it wasn’t just him who changed. His mother changed. Watching her son heal built confidence and greater trust with the Spirit of Truth.
It was during a private conversation with her that year that I recognized — this is my calling. Same process I’d walked with Jeremy.Â
It takes action on their part. There’s no guarantee. But when someone encounters truth in the arms of a loving God—not a judgmental perception of God—trust opens. They’re willing to listen. They’re willing to try. This is where Grief Strategy beings.
The Pattern That Kept Repeating
Then the pattern started showing up everywhere.
A few of my grief strategy clients were marital and family therapists. Licensed professionals who couldn’t do with their own clients what I was doing. They called me in for sessions with privacy maintained. The Spirit walked me through what their clients needed.
Those clients kept asking me to come back. Again and again. The counselors themselves began reaching out to me. Psychics asked me how I connect to the godhead. People from every walk of life — faith-based or not — wanted to know how to connect with God the way I did.
There is no secret. I built a relationship with Truth through the hard knocks of a difficult journey. I respected others’ beliefs and never pushed my own agenda. Because of that, they trusted me with their life disruptions.
I realized people are looking for love and truth.
So, What Does a Grief Strategist Actually Do?
A grief strategist isn’t a therapist. A grief strategist is a guide.
Most therapeutic models start by tracing pain back to its origins. That work matters. But it often begins in the past and takes time to reach the present. I found that focusing there too early increased the overwhelm and made it harder to stabilize what was happening in real time.
Grief strategy begins where you are.
A grief strategist assesses how loss is affecting your life right now—how grief impacts your body, your thoughts, your relationships, and your ability to function. From there, we identify patterns, stabilize what’s overwhelmed, and create a plan to move forward.
And when the past comes up, it’s dealt with. Not ignored or overlooked. It’s just not where we begin.
The goal isn’t digging up the past. It’s getting a sense of direction.
A grief strategist helps you:
- Identify where your grief is showing up today
- Reduce emotional overload
- Initiate grounding for the next day or two or ten — not someday
- Clarify a process forward without reliving trauma, And
- Keep living without ignoring the one you lost.
Strategy offers flexibility. Clients decide how and when. There is always a touch of uncertainty. But when they experience the truth through love’s embrace—rather than judgment—their questions begin to find answers. The heart is willing to take the necessary steps.
You’re not lost. You just need someone who speaks the language of grief in love.
See It in Action
If you want a clearer sense of how this works, I explain my role in this short video about my work as a grief strategist:
And if you’re ready to stop maneuvering grief alone — let’s talk.
— Deborah
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